Railroad Tracks
by pinky366
Summary: She likes to remember all the times they've talked for hours about nothing.  She likes to remember the time he told her he loved her.  She likes to think he meant it.  Tori/Beck.  Drabble.  Don't like; don't read. R/R
1. Daydreamer

She doesn't get it. He likes Jade. He loves her.

He stays with Jade.

She knows it's for Jade's own good. She gets that Jade needs Beck to function.

But she does too.

She likes to pretend that someday, Beck will dump Jade and she will be waiting. She likes to think about all the times he's smiled at her, and then kissed Jade. She likes to remember all the times they've talked for hours about nothing. She likes to remember the time he told her he loved her. She likes to think he meant it.

She lies down on the grass outside Hollywood Arts and closes her eyes. She does the cheesy 'he loves me, he loves me not' flower thing and the 'maybe someday...' daydream routine. She knows it's hopeless- she pretends not to care.

She bumps into him on the hallway sometimes. She especially likes to do it when he has coffee- she gets to help clean it up.

When Jade comes into the picture it ruins everything. Jade screams pointlessly at Beck, for either no reason at all or for 'fraternizing with the enemy' whenever he looks or talks to Tori. Jade interrupts their conversations with stupid, irrelevant comments about herself and what she wants. Jade tells Beck she loves him. Jade likes to think she means it.

Jade sits on the grass outside Hollywood Arts and texts. She flirts with other guys and sends Beck an 'i kno ur with another girl; stop it' text every 5 minutes- no, seconds- even though he usually isn't. She ignores his replies. She knows she can't have full and total control over every aspect of his life- she pretends not to care.

Jade doesn't really love Beck; but Tori does.

Jade loves the way their popular together. She loves the way people look at them together. She loves the way he is sort-of like Jade's glue and whenever she is upset over something he'll somehow calm her down.

Jade doesn't love a bit of him- he's annoying, and he has a really optimistic personality that makes her wanna throw up. She loves what he does, not who he is.

Any boy could give her that.

Tori loves Beck's optimism and humor. She loves the way he can take a bad day and made it good again because he doesn't care about a million bad things; one good thing can fix everything.

That one good thing in Beck's day is always Tori Vega.

Tori likes to pretend that someday they'll grow old together. She likes to pretend they'll have 3 kids named Beck, Marie, and Kate- and a dog, Rock n' Roll (Rocky for short). She likes to pretend they'll die in each other's arms; like that movie they watched together, 'The Notebook.'

She honestly can't have everything she imagines; maybe she can have some.


	2. Trains

Depression hits like a wrecking ball- suddenly, and you can't get back up for a while.

Tori's wasn't any different.

5 years, no career, dead-end job bartending, and Trina's sudden death of cancer hanging haunting her.

She couldn't do anything- she could barely get up to get food. Cat had to come over to take care of her; make sure she didn't do anything she would regret.

One day, the doorbell rang. Tori knew it wasn't Cat, because by now Cat knew to just let herself in. "Come in," Tori croaked.

Beck opened the door and peeked in, then strolled inside.

"Wanna go for a car ride?" he asked casually, even though he knew Tori hadn't left the house in weeks.

Tori shook her head. "Come on Tor, it'll be fun," Beck encouraged.

"Will Jade be there?" Tori said, spitefully.

"No. I haven't seen Jade in months. She ran off with some foreign guy, and the last I heard she's living in the Ukraine," Beck said, turning his head in the other direction so Tori wouldn't be able to see if he was upset or not.

"I-I don't know," Tori stuttered.

"Just once- if you get too nervous, we'll come back," Beck said, smiling and taking Tori's hand.

Tori nodded slowly and went to get a jacket and some jeans on. She carefully tiptoed out of the apartment with Beck. They strolled downstairs and he led her outside. They got into his '78 beat-up blue Thunderbird.

She nervously surveyed her surroundings as she sat gingerly down in the passenger seat.

It seemed like they were going nowhere, until they stopped at a train station. Beck got out of the car, and Tori followed. They sat down on the bench. They watched trains go back and forth- never bothering to actually get in one.

"Trains are like people," Beck said, in a sudden rush of philosophical knowledge. "The train is pretty sure where it is going- it has a set path- but if it wants it can go off course. The train picks up people and drops off people, but there is always at least one person who rides the train from the first stop to the last, sticking with it the whole time."

"The trains can stop suddenly, if something happens. But it can't reach it's final destination if it stops. Sometimes, the train gets stuck, and sometimes it's a permanent thing. It can't be changed, and the train is scrapped and put out of service."

"You can always find a couple strong trains to make it all the way," Beck finished.

Tori just carefully watched the trains go back and forth, mulling the bit of information over.

Beck put and arm around Tori and pulled her close to him.

"Life is just a big set of railroad tracks."


	3. Lies

**I got lots of good reviews! That's cool :D so... enjoy this. DO IT NOW.**

**And I don't count you as a fan unless you review ;)**

_**Beck's Thoughts**_

Jade smiled and snuggled up next to me. I half-heartedly smiled down at her.

"Beck, do you love me?" she asked, running a hand through my hair.

"Yes," I said.

_No._

"Will you stay with me forever?" she asked looking up at me with her big gray eyes-less like silver bracelets, more like storm clouds, unhappy and gloomy.

"Yes," I said.

_No._

"Do you think about Tori when you're with me?" she spat, her nose crinkling when she said Tori's name.

"No," I said, crinkling my nose in fake disgust.

_Yes._

"Do you even _like _Tori?" she said, laughing slightly.

"Not really," I said, laughing.

_Absolutely._

"We're going to be together forever," Jade mumbled, slowly starting to fall asleep on my chest.

I have my reasons for staying with Jade, even though I'm not in love with her. I could never be in love with someone like her. Someone heartless and cruel- someone who only gave me a can of lemonade on my birthday, and I don't mean that I want something extremely expensive, but seriously, it's the thought that counts, and there was no thought in that.

But she needed me for her own reasons, and I got that. I'm not heartless, and she's wrecked without me. Worse than a homeless person, a drunk, a robbed person, a criminal, a dead person, and a drugged person combined. She's off her high horse when she's not with me- literally, if she's not in the same room as me she's a mess.

I wouldn't say I was in love with Tori. I really, really like her. She's funny, bright, and can liven up my day with just a look at me. I don't know her well enough to say I love her- I can say I'm definitely getting there, though.

I think she likes me, too. She obviously hates Jade. When she asks me why I stay with her, I've never had a good reason.

"Oh, she's nice once you get to know her!"

"Sometimes, she acts just like you. You guys could be best friends if you knew her like that."

"She's really pretty."

"Well, I love her and she loves me. I don't know why."

"Why do you care, anyways?"

I'm waiting until I know I love her and I know she loves me- then I'll slowly let Jade go. I can't break her heart- she means something to me. It may not be love, but she means something. I don't hate Jade, I just don't love her. It's complicated.

I checked the clock in my trailer- 11:30 p.m. It was a school night and Jade lived on the other side of town, so it would take 30 minutes to get to her house anyways.

I nudged her. "Wake up," I said softly.

She shot up and turned to look at me, laughing. "I gotta go," she said, grabbing her keys and running out the door of my trailer.

She looked back once and asked, "Were you lying to me?"

"No," I said.

She left quickly and I fell back on the couch, staring out the window, watching her car speed off in to the distance.

"Yes," I whispered to myself.

Someone like that can't love; so how could someone love them?


End file.
